101 Reasons why you should not date Duran
(editor: This is the first contribution from Trilisa to my blog as a guest writer… I realized it doesn’t say who the author is in the post… I’ll have to fix that, enjoy)
So after a Friday night conversation with D that included his new motorcycle pants, we started a now infamous list of reasons…After researching and having conversations with as many of his exes as I could track down or who would admit to having dated D…I have come to the realization that there is a really long list of things that render him undesirable as a boyfriend or date, and I will keep adding to the list until it hits 101 reasons…
Reason #1. He can’t even dress himself – he buys clothes that repel women
#2. He’s always on the fence…can’t decide what side he’s really on…
#3. Not handy around the house
#4. Not sensitive to a woman’s needs
#5. No sense of humor
#6. Doesn’t know how to satisfy a woman
#7. Can’t handle power tools
#8. Doesn’t even look hot on a red motorcycle
#9. Has so many problems getting dates that his friends have to post flyers around town to try get him a date
#10. Never spends any time on his hair
#11. Can’t navigate his way even on a macintosh computer
#12. Has no taste in music
#13. Never hangs out at the ‘cool clubs’
#14. Has no rhythm
#15. Can’t even pull off tight motorcycle pants that any guy would look hot in
#16. Difficult to hold a meaningful conversation with him
#17. Eats really unhealthy food all of the time
#18. Very inconsiderate of others
#19. Even animals don’t like him
#20. No idea of what’s going on in the world
#21. He doesn’t drink, which is weird when everyone else wants to go out to happy hours and he has literally…no response
#22. He never leaves town…I mean, literally, he never goes anywhere, I think its a travel phobia, so no weekends in strange cities or cute little b&bs
#23. He never reads…anything, literary discussions end before they begin with duran
#24. Even his brother is too cool to hang out with him
#25. SOS – even a restaurant on South Street used his nickname ’sexless on south street’…yes, he moved from the 500 block of South Street to the 2100 block of South Street…and he’s still known as SOS
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Warning: date() [function.date]: It is not safe to rely on the system's timezone settings. You are *required* to use the date.timezone setting or the date_default_timezone_set() function. In case you used any of those methods and you are still getting this warning, you most likely misspelled the timezone identifier. We selected 'America/Chicago' for 'CDT/-5.0/DST' instead in /home/duran/www/subdomains/walking/wp-includes/functions.php on line 111
Warning: date() [function.date]: It is not safe to rely on the system's timezone settings. You are *required* to use the date.timezone setting or the date_default_timezone_set() function. In case you used any of those methods and you are still getting this warning, you most likely misspelled the timezone identifier. We selected 'America/Chicago' for 'CDT/-5.0/DST' instead in /home/duran/www/subdomains/walking/wp-includes/functions.php on line 112
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Warning: date() [function.date]: It is not safe to rely on the system's timezone settings. You are *required* to use the date.timezone setting or the date_default_timezone_set() function. In case you used any of those methods and you are still getting this warning, you most likely misspelled the timezone identifier. We selected 'America/Chicago' for 'CDT/-5.0/DST' instead in /home/duran/www/subdomains/walking/wp-includes/functions.php on line 107
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Warning: date() [function.date]: It is not safe to rely on the system's timezone settings. You are *required* to use the date.timezone setting or the date_default_timezone_set() function. In case you used any of those methods and you are still getting this warning, you most likely misspelled the timezone identifier. We selected 'America/Chicago' for 'CDT/-5.0/DST' instead in /home/duran/www/subdomains/walking/wp-includes/functions.php on line 111
Warning: date() [function.date]: It is not safe to rely on the system's timezone settings. You are *required* to use the date.timezone setting or the date_default_timezone_set() function. In case you used any of those methods and you are still getting this warning, you most likely misspelled the timezone identifier. We selected 'America/Chicago' for 'CDT/-5.0/DST' instead in /home/duran/www/subdomains/walking/wp-includes/functions.php on line 112
trilisa 10:58 pm on May 10, 2006 Permalink
just as a note from the author…these are meant in jest…and to be laughed at, not to be taken seriously. if you really know duran, you’ll know how ridiculous these sound, and realize its our silly way of making excuses for the opposite sex;)
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Warning: date() [function.date]: It is not safe to rely on the system's timezone settings. You are *required* to use the date.timezone setting or the date_default_timezone_set() function. In case you used any of those methods and you are still getting this warning, you most likely misspelled the timezone identifier. We selected 'America/Chicago' for 'CDT/-5.0/DST' instead in /home/duran/www/subdomains/walking/wp-includes/functions.php on line 112
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Warning: date() [function.date]: It is not safe to rely on the system's timezone settings. You are *required* to use the date.timezone setting or the date_default_timezone_set() function. In case you used any of those methods and you are still getting this warning, you most likely misspelled the timezone identifier. We selected 'America/Chicago' for 'CDT/-5.0/DST' instead in /home/duran/www/subdomains/walking/wp-includes/functions.php on line 107
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Warning: date() [function.date]: It is not safe to rely on the system's timezone settings. You are *required* to use the date.timezone setting or the date_default_timezone_set() function. In case you used any of those methods and you are still getting this warning, you most likely misspelled the timezone identifier. We selected 'America/Chicago' for 'CDT/-5.0/DST' instead in /home/duran/www/subdomains/walking/wp-includes/functions.php on line 111
Warning: date() [function.date]: It is not safe to rely on the system's timezone settings. You are *required* to use the date.timezone setting or the date_default_timezone_set() function. In case you used any of those methods and you are still getting this warning, you most likely misspelled the timezone identifier. We selected 'America/Chicago' for 'CDT/-5.0/DST' instead in /home/duran/www/subdomains/walking/wp-includes/functions.php on line 112
Lauren 1:59 am on May 13, 2006 Permalink
As a yet another female in Duran’s past and present, let me add yet another one: he’s really bad at listening to your problems/ideas/verbal diarrhea. I mean he only lasts like an hour or two at most.